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(02) Advice from Alumni who have Organized ReunionsMany LFNY alumni have already gone through the process of organizing a class reunion. We have asked them to share their experiences in order to help those who, in the future will organize their own event. Andrea Migliuolo ('75), Caroline Hodak ('87), Vivian (Wayne) Henderson ('71), Giselle (Banaszkiewicz) Dubourg ('87), Remy Ayache ('69), Carla Rosen-Vacher ('78), Xavier Bretillon ('69), and Natalie Yates Cacciato ('78) were kind enough to do so, and here is their advice. Merci Andrea, Caroline, Vivian, Giselle, Remy, Carla, Xavier, et Natalie!! ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ PRE-PLANNING, AND EVENT ORGANIZERS VIVIAN: Have two or three people take charge and plan the events. Ronald Grelsamer ('71), Serge Pinto ('71) and I agreed to organize the reunion and discussed among ourselves what we thought would be the most fun for everyone. REMY: Try to have a partner or two for planning and execution (Xavier and I worked well together for the planning and execution) NATALIE: Form an organizing committee. It’s a good idea to try to put together a core group-- call it an organizing committee in formation-- to give a sense of momentum. Write a call for volunteers, ideas and resources and the Alumni Association (AALFNY) can assist with sending it out via email to all classmates. That way the organizers solicit input across the class, across geographic boundaries and the whole process creates excitement, dialogue and anticipation. Then assign responsibilities to members— only as much as they’re willing and able to take on. Remember: this should be fun! ANDREA: If you’re going to organize something from “out of town” (e.g., you live in Rome but the event will be held in New York), the internet is useful and great, but not enough. You will need another classmate as a local partner to check on ideas and choices, and to coordinate until you get there (I had a great one with me, Alexandra!!). Whatever you plan, keep it informal: This helps to rebuild old atmospheres and loosens rusty feelings and newer hang-ups; and frankly, and as far as our 1975 class was concerned, it kept away whoever did not really fit-in any more. ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ CONTACTING THE PARTICIPANTS REMY: Establish a list of people, their interests, and their email addresses, all on one list (I used Excel and that worked well). Don't be shy about asking the AALFNY to send notices out for you. Their help with our “email blasts” was invaluable. Also, some people will pay more attention if it comes from the association. Email as early as possible. Try to get cell phone numbers from people. It is sometimes easier to talk over the phone. CAROLINE: As the “who is coming” list is updated, organizers should periodically send it out to everyone, showing who is confirmed and who is a "maybe." This is very helpful in encouraging people who might be hesitating, to actually attend. ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ DEALING WITH PARTICIPANTS (other than the organizers) ANDREA: Get all the input/ideas you want from participants, but make decisions on your own: Do not look for consensus, which is impossible for events like these, and would therefore at, a minimum, just make you lose a lot of sleep. Know that there are people who will never be pleased, whatever you do. So, don’t waste your time in trying to please everyone. REMY: Don’t give people too many choices or a decision will never be made. ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ SETTING THE DATE OF THE EVENT CAROLINE: The date should be set, at a minimum, 6 months ahead, and 9 months ahead if during a holiday week end. Watch out for Bank-Holiday weekends which are not the same in the US as in France. Try not to set the date during October's NY marathon (flight tickets are awfully expensive), Xmas or during typical family holidays. For example, Thanksgiving, Easter, etc. are probably very bad periods. May, June, September, October or beginning November might be best. VIVIAN: Agree on a date. This is harder than people think! It is impossible to please everyone and/or get everyone to come. There are always scheduling conflicts. GISELLE: Get started early, at least 2-3 months ahead, so that people can plan. You will also get more people on board as the news spreads of the reunion. Check calendars to avoid school vacations. REMY: Plan the reunion months ahead since it takes a lot of time and effort to organize. CARLA: I would recommend avoiding winter (due to travel difficulties) and summer (due to vacation schedules), although personally I think it is a shame to avoid summer, as people traveling to either the USA or France might then be more available. Also, I don't have kids, so I had more flexibility in the summer and can host or travel during that period. In general, we tend to avoid all school vacation periods due to family obligations that people might have. +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ LOCATION: NEW YORK, OR PARIS, OR BOTH? ANDREA: Our class just had one official class reunion, in New York (fall 2005). Organizing the event in just one place can help increase attendance and, therefore, enhance the event’s importance. Our other venues in Paris (spring of 2005 and spring of 2006) were just happy gatherings with whoever was there. CAROLINE: I'd say NYC only is great. Otherwise NYC and Paris may be set for two different dates, and some alumni might actually attend both events. VIVIAN: NYC worked well for us because while lots of people had to come from overseas and other states, they still wanted to come and see friends or relatives, or just needed an excuse to visit NY. REMY: We debated between NY and Paris. The response showed that we could get more people to come to NY. CARLA: I would say it depends where the majority of grads are living. Usually these events work better when they attract a core group of people who stayed friends, so of course they would tend to live in same area. This was our case in NYC. We were lucky enough to get a couple of people from Paris who happened to be in NYC at the time. NATALIE: Alumni are located in both major cities, and many are generally happy to travel to the other location if given a good reason and enough notice. New York tends to be the first place to think of for nostalgic reasons, with Paris the second. With dedicated organizers on both continents, several classes have been able to organize milestone reunions in both cities (for example: one in the Fall/Winter in one city, one in the Spring/Summer in the other or in alternate years) and there’s no reason classmates shouldn’t attend both if their time and resources permit: they get to see a broader group of classmates as a result. +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ THE MAIN EVENT: RESTAURANT OR HOME? CAROLINE: Where to do it depends on whether there is a kind soul willing to donate his/her apartment or house for the event. If not, someone will have to find a place, make reservations for a private party, etc. In my opinion, it's definitely not as congenial "outside" (restaurant or club) as compared to someone's place. For example, if more than ten people attend, they need to be able to walk around and not remain seated at a table all night. However, in such instances, a "cocktail hour", prior to the sit-down dinner, can help everyone catch up with everyone else. And, last but not least, everyone must share in the costs, as there is no reason that the burden should fall on just one person's shoulders. GISELLE: It all depends on how many of you there are. For a small reunion of around 40 people, someone's home is an ideal place and you can get your guests to help out by bringing food and drink. A restaurant is more appropriate for a larger group. Reserve an area and avoid places with loud music where you can't talk. REMY: It is great to have someone that has a large home suitable for entertaining and is willing to host it. Otherwise look for a place, a catering hall or restaurant, where it will be conducive to talk and mix before the dinner. We had two long tables which worked pretty well and we tried to get up and swap seats to talk with people at other tables. CARLA: My personal feeling is that it is absolutely better, more personal, and more welcoming to do it in a private home vs. a restaurant or public venue. I believe more people came to our event in NYC because it was in Natalie's home. VIVIAN: Our second event was on Saturday night. We agreed to have dinner at an upscale Chinese restaurant and everyone paid their own way. It was one long table in a lively place, which we thought would be great for people who don't often have the chance to eat good Chinese food (unless they live in London). NATALIE: Choose a PRIVATE HOME if your core group of organizers includes individuals who: 1) Like to entertain at home. 2) Have access to a home that is conveniently located for attendees arriving from out of town and spacious enough to hold the estimated number. 3) Have a talent for, or access to, cost-effective catering: food, beverages and supplies. 4) Can be hands-on and on-site in the planning and execution process. Advantages: A home setting is attractive for a reunion because it’s gracious and welcoming to people who may feel ambivalent about their school experience or about seeing people they haven’t been in touch with in a long time. A home setting can also be more flexible because, depending on how the catering is done, it can be more flexible about head count and cost. Disadvantages: It’s a lot of work to entertain a large group at home and mishaps can occur. It can be hard to enjoy your own party. Choose a RESTAURANT if your core group of organizers includes individuals who: 1) Prefer the convenience and reliability of entertaining at a restaurant. 2) Are planning from a distance, can’t be hands-on and need professionals to handle the details. 3) Don’t enjoy the nitty-gritty details of planning and executing event details. 4) Are comfortable with a cost structure that may be pricey for some classmates. Advantages: A restaurant shoulders a lot of the work for the organizing committee immediately before and at the reunion so that the organizers can enjoy their party and leave the cooking, serving and cleaning to others. Disadvantages: May require a guaranteed minimum count, room rental charge and a deposit, suggesting that the committee request classmates pay up-front so that the organizing committee isn’t left holding the bag. Per person, the event can become pricey by the time you add up full meal, tax, tip and room rental charge-- especially for those who have to add travel and accommodations— and that can be a damper on responses. A lot of people are last-minute planners. (Note: A public space with caterers brought on-site will almost always be more expensive than either option above.) +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ WE PICKED A RESTAURANT: NOW WHAT? ANDREA: Organize and book everything ahead of time: The greater the attendance, the more you want to “freeze” and book. For example, do not be afraid to select a standard menu and drinks for everybody: it makes the organization smoother (and it lowers your bill!) Anybody wanting something else or special can always order and pay for it on the spot. Also, we had a whole room all to ourselves: We were afraid it might be “corny” but it turned out to be magnificent, since a) we concentrated on our group and b) we could share memories and thoughts loudly, in any language, without worrying about annoying others. NATALIE: Choosing the menu: Whether you hold your reunion in a private home or a restaurant, give your organizing committee and hosts the most flexibility in terms of planning, costs and numbers. Choose a menu that can accommodate a shrinking or expanding attendee list: i.e. Items served in defined portions (like stuffed avocado, or Cornish hen) require actual head counts and more advanced planning than dishes that can be served in larger or smaller portions (like lasagna, salads, stews, or trays of crudités, cheeses, fruits and the like). ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ ANY OTHER IDEAS FOR EVENTS? NATALIE: Some classes have organized successful low-budget reunion events, such as: 1) Pot-luck picnics in a park: classmates bring their own food and activities for children (be sure to check for permit requirements for larger crowds). 2) Brunch reunions in a home or at a restaurant such as Le Pain Quotidien, which are less expensive to organize than dinner. 3) Cocktail receptions with Open Bar and some trays of nibble food in bulk (crudités, cheese and fruit platters). 4) Meeting at a public cultural event with a relevant theme. VIVIAN: We decided to have a cocktail party on a Friday night (that way people could travel Thursday night or Friday morning) and I offered to host it at my apartment. We agreed to split the costs 3 ways since people were traveling all the way to NYC. I had it catered and there was enough food so no one left hungry or in need of a meal. We started at 7pm and people left at 10:30pm. Having it at home was more intimate and made it easier for people to reconnect, especially when they have not seen each other and may not recognize each other after 30 years! Saturday day was "free time". Some people got together for lunch; others went to museums, theater, shopping etc. I would not recommend trying to organize a group theater outing since the tickets have to purchased in advance and inevitably someone doesn't show up and/or doesn't pay for their ticket. Just remember to keep it simple and short. Two or three events are plenty. Depending on the time of year, people can also have a picnic or an event at someone's country house. Just don't try to organize too many events. Leave room for spontaneous get-togethers over the course of the weekend. +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ COVERING COSTS NATALIE: In addition to having someone on the organizing committee who might be able to offer his or her home for the reunion, do you have classmates who would enjoy sponsoring other aspects of the reunion by providing beverages, underwriting the food, designing an invitation or providing other goodies? Decide whether you are going to have classmates pay to cover the cost of the reunion or whether you have the resources to subsidize any part of it to add interest and attract the greatest number. If you decide to charge, make sure you include in your calculations any extras, such as room rental, tax, tip, and any other incidentals. The AALFNY can assist with online credit-card payment via PayPal, in which case you should include in your calculations the fees PayPal charges to process transactions. ANDREA: Even with the best planning, once you pay the bill you will overspend your original budget by at least 20%. Remember to add an adequate tip/service charge into your budget, and therefore in the per-capita fees. . If “drinks are extra” and if the group is big (above 12-15), agree with the caterer/restaurant on a simple and joint “bottle-opening” procedure to keep a tab on this tricky expense item (in this case, also share this burden with a couple of trustworthy classmates). Alternatively, go for an open-bar option, which is expensive but with fewer hassles. As far as event participants are concerned, let them say the worse things about you, but be firm and get paid in advance by everybody before you book anything. Otherwise you will be left paying a hefty bill on your own (as I did....) You cannot imagine the people that will not show up after saying they will (and you usually book and pay on a fixed number of people), and, yes, also those who leave early and don’t pay at the end of the event. For this reason and as a gesture to those who book in advance, I would plan on a hefty surplus fee (at least 30%) for whoever drops by at the last minute. REMY: 1) Accept the fact that the list will change as time gets closer to the event because of everyone's schedule. 2) Determine a number that will be a minimum to move forward. 3) Establish a point of no return where the number of people is guaranteed for the restaurant. 4) I negotiated with the restaurant to give us a fixed priced dinner including wine so that people knew cost ahead of time. The cost was almost “spot on” except for a few drinks before the meal where we paid cash. ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ MORE FUN!! VIVIAN: At the cocktail held at my home, I displayed all our class pictures and other photos I found, which was a lot of fun. All the old yearbooks were also on display, so everyone had a great time. GISELLE: Don't forget to bring old yearbooks and school pictures, and a camera! REMY: Try to bring a few cameras and videos to record the happy event. CAROLINE: If it is decided to do the event in NYC and Paris, then they can be simultaneous, with web cam stuff which can be fun. Take lots of pictures, and publish them on a website where everyone can view them afterwards. +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ HOW WILL I FEEL, AS AN ORGANIZER, AND WHAT DOES IT MEAN FOR PARTICIPANTS? REMY: Assuming the role of organizer means a time commitment. Emails, and phone calls back and forth for months, will take time: be prepared for that. CARLA: Aside from networking (always useful), I would say that the joy of these gatherings is to rediscover school friends and acquaintances who shared special years together - to reminisce and appreciate what the Lycee has given us and allowed us to accomplish throughout our lives. Naturally it should also help further the alumni community and encourage continuing ties with the school and supporting it, in any way possible. NATALIE: Remember: Keep the stress low, and have fun! ANDREA: Remember: You’re not being paid to do this. So, once it is organized and operational, just “let it go” and focus on having fun with the others. XAVIER: 1) Do not be discouraged. Whatever you may think, you will be discouraged along the way. You will be ready to cancel everything. 2) Keep focused. Keep track of the "big picture". 3) Do not be disappointed. As sure as the sun sets every day, you will be disappointed. People that have made a commitment will not show up. No phone call or even an e-mail. You will see your list shrink as the scheduled date approaches. 4) Again, you have to keep focused. Remember why you started the whole process in the first place. CAROLINE: Reactions were incredibly warm and people were extremely grateful. It is a very worthwhile, and rewarding, thing to do. |
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